What Your Heart Desires
by 123hithatsme
Summary: We know what Harry and Ron see when they look i the Mirror of Erised...but what does one professor desire the most?


_**AN:**_ **Hi everyone. Here is another one shot I had brewing around my head. I hope you enjoy and if so then feel free to read my other one shots: What Can One Say About Severus Snape? and One Last Goodbye. Also there is my first ever ever EVER fanfiction Framed. Reviews are loved, flames are for marshmallows. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and make no money from this...unless I look into the Mirror of Erised...but I can't because it doesn't exist *sobs***

An eleven year old Harry Potter dragged a bed-haired Ron through the empty room and up to a tall golden framed mirror.

"There! Can you see them? There's my dad and here's mum" Harry squealed excitedly

"I only see us," Ron yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Harry's smile dropped then he noticed that Ron wasn't right in front of the mirror.

"Here, stand where I am," Harry said with enthusiasm and pulled his friend into place.

Ron's grin almost split his face into two as he told Harry that he saw himself as Head Boy and Quidditch Captain. The two boys continued to talk with the occasional glance to the mirror.

"C'mon, Harry," Ron yawned. "Let's go back to bed."

Harry looked crestfallen as he risked one last look at the mirror and followed his friend back to Gryffindor Common Room. A few minutes passed before another presence appeared in the room.

Snape cancelled his disillusionment spell when he was absolutely sure that no one was around and was silently fuming. How dare Potter and Weasley be out of bounds and out after curfew. He had half a mind to follow the children and serve detention but didn't when he heard the mention of Potter's mother. Instead he froze and watched the children talk and look at the mirror. Surely Dumbledore wouldn't just leave that blasted mirror laying around where students could access it. It should be down the trapdoor underneath that Cerberus to protect the Philosopher's Stone.

"You imbecile, Albus," Snape muttered as he walked towards the door to return to his chambers. He brushed past the mirror on his way and paused with his hand on the door handle….Don't do it Snape…

"Blast it," Snape seethed and stood in front of the Mirror of Erised and slowly opened his eyes. His heart stopped and throat tightened as Lily Evans stared back at him. Her long flaming red hair tumbled over her shoulders and her emerald eyes glittered with love. Her perfect lips parted into an even more perfect smile. She laughed and it sounded as if wind-chimes danced in the breeze; soft, beautiful and delicate.

"Lily," Snape gasped. Her reflection waved at him and giggled. "Oh, Lily…I am so sorry. I wish I could turn back time. I would do anything to have you back. I was a foolish and selfish man. I was a coward. You didn't deserve what I did to you."

He placed his palm on the glass and Lily looked at it before placing her small hand where his calloused hand was. Snape slowly drew himself towards the mirror so that his torso pressed up against Lily's reflection, desperate to get as close to her as possible and feel her once more.

"I should be in your place. The world need your talents, not mine," Snape choked. His fingers pressed into the glass and clenched into a fist. He thumped the mirror twice and squeezed his eyes shut. A few small tears leaked from his eyes and slowly trickled down his aged and tortured face. He opened his eyes and stared straight into her eyes…those beautiful innocent eyes; the most beautiful eyes in the world. Her lips were so close. Snape closed his eyes and kissed the reflection of her forehead. He then kissed her neck before finally settling on the precious lips. He exhaled and fogged the mirror with his breath. Lily looked at him and placed her other hand up high towards Snape's shoulder. He looked at the offered hand and mimicked what Lily did before and placed his hand on hers. Snape coughed and gripped the sides of the mirror tightly and rested his forehead on the glass. He broke down into sobs and slid down the mirror and sat on his knees on the floor. His shoulder's hunched up to his hears and shuddered as he sobbed. Every nerve in his body screamed in agony and remorse as his guilty tears continued to torture him and burned his eyes like acid. He sobbed hard as he wrapped his arms around the frame, hopelessly wishing that it was Lily's body. Snape opened his eyes and saw Lily's reflection knelt down beside him. She put a finger to her lips and smiled warmly. Snape leaned his back against the glass and sat on the floor. He inhaled deeply to control his emotions and eventually managed to reduce them to a few hiccups. The Potion's Master looked back at Lily and then the hair on the back of his neck stood on end…he was not alone.

"Show yourself," Snape demanded as he sat unprofessionally on the floor. A tall lanky body dissolved from the shadows and Albus Dumbledore smiled down at him with sad eyes.

"How are you, Severus?" Albus asked kindly.

Snape furiously wiped his tears away and scowled up at the headmaster. "How do you think I bloody feel? How long were you there for?"

"Ever since young Harry and Ron entered the room."

"You mean to tell me that you simply watched them break the rules and did nothing about it?"

"And what, pray tell, Severus, did you do? You were here just after I arrived. Usually you wouldn't hesitate to dock points or give detention if a student had odd socks on."

Snape drew himself to his feet and dusted his robes off. "That is of no concern to you."

"Severus," Albus said firmly. "Be honest, you didn't want to spoil the most precious moment in Harry's life did you? He has finally seen what his parents look like."

"The boy means nothing to me, you know that!"

"Don't lie to me," Albus warned and pointed a finger at Snape. That boy means the world to you yet you do not love him. You are conflicted as to how to feel towards the boy."

"I agreed to protect the boy. I have no emotional connection to him at all."

Dumbledore felt Snape let his Occlumency shields drop ever so slightly and managed to peek into a fraction of his mind and felt despair. Almost immediately he was barricaded and thrust from the mind with such force that the old wizard was thrown to the floor.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Snape thundered so loud that he could wake the whole castle. "You have no right! Do I pry into your mind?"

Dumbledore got to his feet and felt the anger radiate off Snape. "I cannot help you unless you are honest with me, Severus."

"Stay out of my head," Snape snarled and turned his back on Dumbledore with a practiced swish of his robes. Silence hung in the air until Dumbledore took one step toward the door.

"I'm torn," Snape confessed. Dumbledore stopped and faced his fellow staff member. Snape still had his back to him and rested both hands and his forehead against the mirror.

"Do you know how much it hurts to see the body of your most hated enemy knowing that the person you loved more than anything created it? Everyday I see the boy, I see Potter. He is still mocking me from beyond the grave through his offspring. Do you know how much it hurts that the one you loved turn against you and marry your most hated enemy? Do you know how much it hurts that this child is half of the person you loved and half of your most hated enemy? Do you notice a pattern here, Albus? The person you loved and the most hated enemy, combined into one body. Potter is the perfect Ying Yang. The perfect torment to my already shredded soul. That is how I feel about Potter, every single time I see him."

"Harry is as much of Lily as he is James," Dumbledore said gently when Snape refused to talk. "Just look at him and you'll see."

"All I see is bloody Potter," Snape sneered as he turned around to face the other wizard. "The only part of her he has is her eyes."

"The eyes are the window to the soul, Severus. If he has Lily's eyes, then he has Lily's soul. He may be James on the outside, but remember, it's what's on the inside that counts."

Snape breathed deeply and released his breath all at once.

"I had hoped you wouldn't find this mirror," Dumbledore said sadly.

"I thought it was down beneath the trapdoor."

"Oh it will be. But first I want Harry to see his parents one last time before I say to him what I am going to say to you now…I must ask that you do not seek out this mirror again, Severus. As you can see, it has done more harm than good. Staring at what can never be can damage a person beyond repair. And you, Severus, are one of the most damaged men I know."

Snape turned back to the mirror and Lily smiled and waved slowly, as if telling him that this is goodbye.

"Go to bed, my boy," Dumbledore said with a friendly squeeze on Snape's shoulder and directed him towards the door. "Do not torment yourself any more."

Snape grunted in response and left the room. Dumbledore took one glance in the mirror before he conjured a red cloth.

"Goodbye, Ariana," he said sadly and threw the cloth over the mirror before he left the room and locked the door.


End file.
